Today when meeting with my mentor we came to a discussion about rejection. I've realized that rejection has hit my heart in a significant way and it has wounded me. It is something that has not been done lightly, but has been done by those who have been the absolute closest to me. I realize that this pattern of rejection has changed who I am, kept me from trying to love others as deeply as the Lord loves me, and has caused me to make a habit out of self pity. But today I decided to break off the spirit of rejection because what the enemy has tried to use to destroy me God can use for good. He has shown me that rejection is the feeling I have when I seek human approval and don't receive it. As Paul writes in Galations 1:10, one cannot try to be accepted by both men and God. We must forsake approval of man so that we might be servants of Christ. I must, in my spirit, determine to set aside the desire for man's approval for this reason. When I do this, I will choose to have my fulfillment and identity in Christ, no longer giving into self pity which somehow tends to falsely bind the wound that rejection has caused.
When Justin and I moved to Yakima, we said it was for my family. I have come to realize it was very much for us. I have prayed and asked the Lord about when we will be ready for the next step on our lives. I feel the time is coming near, but he has told me that we are here to seek freedom so that we will be ready to go. There are things binding me that I must break off of my life. I must run after freedom because it is for freedom that Christ came...freedom from a life without a relationship with God. Everything in me wants to know my Savior as deeply as I can. Therefore, I must work to be free. Free in his love and free in the knowledge of what he has done for me. I believe there are many Christians who are not free. So many of us are bound by something....but God desires freedom for us. I pray that I am on the path towards freedom so that I can know him more fully and then to be able to tell anyone and everyone the freedom I've found in him. Our God is great and his love knows no bound. I rejoice in that and in the reality that my God loosens chains and set prisoners free!
