Deeper thoughts...

Tonight I spoke with a good friend who always reminds me that taking a moment to reflect and think a bit deeper about my life situations is healthy and incredibly useful. Lately I've been thinking about how little I do of this. I tend to go from one moment to the next with little thought or reflection in between. Perhaps that is why I write so little on a blog even though I had the greatest of intentions...actually thinking that starting this blog would help me be more reflective. Maybe it will...anyway, there are aspects to my personality that I like and others that I wish I would be more proactive about changing. I enjoy my optimism and my dedication to things that I want to see accomplished. I like that when I set my mind to something, I typically don't stop until I get it done. I am happy that when I hear the Lord speak, I hear it clearly (assuming I'm listening) and I act with little hesitation. This is not because of my wonderful obedience, but because the Lord tends to speak to me in a very forward way that cannot be misunderstood or ignored! With that said (because I don't want to have a pity party about what I don't like about myself necessarily), there are major things that need some work within my personality. One of the largest that I have noticed and disliked for some time is my seemingly inability to slow down, reflect, and learn amidst my circumstances. I'm usually so busy living life at the moment or working to get to the next stage that I forget to learn what God has for me in the moment I'm living. I'm reminded that God's purpose for my life is to know him. Nothing is as important as this. When I avoid the opportunity to take a look at what God is doing in my life through the situation I'm in or I don't slow down long enough to learn what he's trying to say to me, I am missing out. I want to work at being quiet before the Lord; waiting on him in stillness without worrying about what's coming next. The next thing is what I should be looking for as much as to gain all I can out of what I'm going through at the moment. This is especially true right now as we are preparing to leave. Today, Justin reminded me that we need not be more focused on the preparation to leave than why we are leaving. We must focus on God above all else, making sure we are living the very moment he is giving us right then, right now. That is my goal these next couple months and I pray I do it well, with some grace, so that I might not miss anything God has for me during this season.