I was just reading Ann Voskamp's blog and found myself straining to see the words as tears welled up in my eyes and slid down my cheeks. She wrote about the moment all moms come to at some point...or many points throughout the day, week, month... That moment you are harsher with your child than you ever thought you would be and than you ever want to admit you were. I haven't been doing this mom thing long, but I've had the moment. As I read I pictured my beautiful girl's little face with tears flowing, mouth wide open, a loudness expressing the sadness she's feeling...and I've caused it....and I'm the only thing she wants to make it better. I remember holding her and sobbing. Feeling so incredibly undeserving of her little arms wrapped around my neck and completely awed that I can comfort her after I am the one who caused her pain. And I'm thankful...for the grace she's showing me. She's teaching me about love and relationship...and I'm thankful. I am still amazed that the Lord has given me two amazing, beautiful, joyful, sweet, energetic little girls to raise. I'm so undeserving of these blessings...but like a great gift we sometimes feel undeserving of and would give up if asked, I would never let go of these precious ones. They've changed me like no one else ever could or ever will. Motherhood is so ordinary and so extra ordinarily beyond my comprehension all at the same time. For this joyous task I feel less than equipped...so thankful that God will equip me as I go....and reliant on grace for those embarrassingly harsh moments when my little one wraps her arms around me, snuggles in, and we both find our comfort in each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment